Fear of Failure

Posted on January 21, 2016 by Gigi in My Life 3 Comments

I have a little secret that after this post it won’t be a secret any more.

I have a fear of being a failure. A loser.

I think it stems from being overwhelmed and at more times than not unorganized. I have this feeling that I’m racing against this big stopwatch that is my “life” and soon the timer is going to go off and I’m not going to be finished.

I have had my share of loser/failure moments.

In elementary school I was the slowest person in PE. I remember always being last in all of the fitness tests.
In high school I tried out for the cheerleader squad and I didn’t make it- cut in the first round .
My senior year of high school I was in a relationship with a guy that could have been part of ISIS- I was terrorized for 3 years and nobody knew.
See #3 I dropped out of college.
Worked weird odd jobs- like delivering delinquent reports of people who were behind on their property taxes to a company that was headquartered on a nudist colony up in the mountains.
Finally got a “good” job at IBM and one day I just quit- no notice-
Started a chocolate brownie business with a friend, everything was going good and then due to a host of complications we closed the business.
Started interior design school, took a bajillion classes, but never finished the program.
Started a home decor business and after a couple of years it fizzled.

Gigi

Fast forward to my photography business. I’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars on all kinds of equipment, classes, marketing etc.. So yes I’m scared- sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I question myself. “what the hell are you doing?” The good thing is I think about this quote-at those times.

quote

I have to believe that it is true. And yes in between all the shortcomings, there have been lots of highs as well- like I did go back to school and I finished my degree.

Gigi finishing college

I successfully mothered two children and have been a wife for almost 27 years.

Bar Acuda

I’m the person I am today that is a combination of all those experiences. I am resilient and if I do give up, I quickly reinvent myself and keep it moving!

What are you afraid of? What wakes you in the middle of the night? How do you deal with your fears?

Xoxo Gigi

Quote

Posted on January 12, 2016 by Gigi in Quotes Comments Off

Quote

I stumbled across this quote tonight, as I was searching for some inspiration for my post. I’m in Atlanta for a conference, a city that I know nothing about- but like this quote I’m having a moment to find myself, since I am essentially “lost” in this city.

At this conference there are thousands of photographers here from all over the country. Lots of small groups, clustering around, chatting shop talk with each other, exchanging the typical “where are you from and what to you shoot” conversations. Not that I am invisible, but I am enjoying this moment of being anonymous and not engaging in the small talk and just being “lost”.

Going to workshops, listening to speakers, checking out all the widgets in the expo, is allowing me the space I need to figure out what direction I am going as an artist.

new widget…my hip belt- that allows me to wear my camera on a belt so my hands are free so I can engage with my clients.

On another note I was saddened by the death of David Bowie. I loved him as an artist, and I feel as though I “know” Iman via magazines- I remember being so happy seeing her, a woman of color, in all the high fashion magazines and cutting out pictures of her when I was growing up. I also can only imagine her loss, after being married 24 years and watching your husband battle cancer, a disease that has certainly taken its toll on my family and friends.

David Bowie RIP

A moving post that Iman tweeted-

-Iman

When was the last time you were “lost”? What did you discover about yourself? Share?

and remember to value each day, each moment-

Xoxo,

Gigi

25 Ways to Simplify your life

Posted on January 12, 2016 by Gigi in 50 ways Comments Off

One of the problems with going to a trade show is that you come back, full of excitement and ready to apply everything you learned. I guess that is the point of going, but in my case it can make my complicated life even more crazy. So that being said, when I get home I am determined to stay on task and not get distracted. 2016 is going to be a year of control and simplification- no distractions.

Gigi

So here are 26 tips on simplifying your life.

Get up 45 minutes earlier, than your normal time and take advantage of having a relaxed morning.
This is a hard one for me, but get 8 hours of sleep. I am working on this one.
Focus on your inner circle and don’t spread yourself to thin.
Fine tune your business- and outsource so you can focus on what you do best.
Pick your battles carefully- is it worth the energy?
Prepare more meals at home.
Find the good in everyone.
Let go of anything that is keeping you down…
Organize…one day I will be done.
Surround yourself with Love.
Take technology breaks- really working on unplugging-
Wear your “fitbit” or other device- my is on my nightstand.
Spend time in your garden- or plant one.
Be Friendly!
Return emails.
Write a letter to someone, who would not ever expect a letter from you.
Be accommodating –
Don’t expect something of others that you are not capable of doing.
Complete tasks.
Slow down.
Exhale.
Move your body daily.
Take a nap.
Read a book- for pleasure- or listen to one during your commute.
Be humble.
Be grateful.

gigi Happy Wednesday! Today is going to be a long travel day.

Xoxo- Gigi

56 WTF?

Posted on July 29, 2015 by Gigi in Aging Comments Off

gigi @ 56

Today is the first day of my new year. 56, a number that ~~seems~~ is ~~old~~ middle age, mature, a woman of a “certain” age, that is what comes to my mind when I hear that number. This number that is closer yet to a “bigger” significant number the- big “60”.

Lately I have been photographing incredibly beautiful young models. Part of the process is the editing of these images, it is here that I am reminded that even the “best” of us will fall into the arms of father time. I am reminded that I used to have long thick hair, a tight body and a laissez faire attitude. These are faces that have not smiled as much as mine, or have seen as much sadness. Faces that giggle about new boyfriends, legs that peek out of short shorts, tousled messy hair that looks so right, random odd jobs that keep them busy, and that anticipation of the next audition, or the big break that will soon come.

pretty girls

I have embraced the physical changes ( not that I really have a choice) my kinky curly “do” gives the illusion of a lot of hair, trust me it has thinned out a lot. The body looks pretty good dressed and a little better than okay undressed. The eyes, well lets just say I have joined the ranks of those that have numerous glasses all over the house.

big hair don’t care

Or how I really do have to take a moment to find my “good” side prior to the shutter snapping, holding my chin just so. I have to hydrate non-stop, especially if I indulge in a glass or 2 of wine. But even with all these changes, I’m at a good place with my self and who I am. There is a sense of comfort that comes with the 50’s, you realize “it is what it is…” You are not going to be transformed to your former 30 year-old self, and that is okay, nor become the next President, just saynin’. Mistakes I have made have contributed to the centered woman I am today. I’m more authentic which is good and bad, good for being who I really am, and bad for sharing my thoughts, thoughts that are at times not invited.

I’m at a point where I don’t have time for the ridiculous anymore. There are places I want to go, experiences I want to have, things I want to see. A sort of urgency where you feel as if you have to focus, especially if you were a late bloomer, like moi. My inner circle is shrinking a bit, I’m satisfied with those that are “easy” and accepting. I still enjoy spending time with my husband and now that our son is about to depart for college that is a good thing.

As I reflect on this past year I am happy to be present, there are so many that have departed, I am reminded often- the news of death, something I don’t recall hearing about when I was younger. Life is truly a gift.

So as this day comes to an end, take a moment for yourself and cherish wherever you are on your life journey-

Xoxo,

Gigi

Quote

Posted on May 29, 2015 by Gigi in Quotes, Thoughts 2 Comments

Gigi

“There comes a day when you realize that turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize that there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.” Zayn Malik

I came across this quote the other day and thought about how easy it is to become stagnant in your life, when really we are in control and can make the necessary changes just by turning the page. I’ve been stuck on the parenthood page for a long time, it has been a good part of the book, but the story is far from being over. I’m at a point in my life when some of my friends are now retiring, I’m just beginning a new career.

Retirement seems so far away, and what does that really mean for us? Do we sell our “family” home? Downsize and travel? These are questions that cross my mind. When we traveled to Costa Rica, we looked at properties and fantasized about maybe settling down there, or maybe Hawaii or the caribbean. Of course the thought crosses your mind about grandchildren, and would we want to be far away from them? Decisions, decisions…

What I do know though, is that I want to take the best care of myself so I can be around for retirement, that is why me and my butt go to the gym, and why I try to nourish my body to the best of my ability, I firmly believe you are what you eat. My spiritual well being is important too, I control the stress, block negativity to the best of my ability and surround myself with those that really love and support me.

I have also learned the importance of celebrating often and living each day to the fullest, I know first hand how one day everything can be great and the next day the entire world can come toppling down on you. I know how when things are tough it easy to focus on the “bad”, instead of how can I make the most of this situation and come up with a plan. I know that sometimes you may want to give up, but those are the times you can’t, you have to give it your all. My son last year caused us much grief, but I never gave up on him, so to see him walk across the stage and get his diploma was truly a blessing, yes I know it is only high school, but for a minute we did not know what was going to happen, but we never loss faith.

So friends embrace this weekend and go out and grab some joy you deserve it! Happy Friday!

Xoxo,

Gigi

Mission Statement

Posted on March 31, 2015 by Gigi in Thoughts 2 Comments

I’m working on a mission statement, one that sums up my philosophy on life and my personal being, my mantra. It is not as easy as I thought, to come of with a few sentences that really capture me. I’m going to have to flush it out, but this is what I have come up with so far.

To find happiness, fulfillment, and value in living a beautiful life.

I will seek out and experience all the pleasures and joys that life has to offer.

As a photographer I will do my best to take the most beautiful portrait you have ever had taken of yourself.

As an artist I want to be authentic and capture the light and tell honest stories with my images.

Family and friends are the core of my existence and I will work at strengthening my relationships and work on having mutual respect.

To be content wherever I am, in my surroundings, knowing that they can change and knowing that the physical location does not define who I am, but being secure with self, finding peace within and always following my heart, which is most important.

I looked up some company mission statements to get some inspiration and here are a few.

NIKE- “To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world”

Nordstrom- “To provide outstanding service every day, one customer at a time.”

Ritz Carlton- “We pledge to provide the finest personal service and facilities for our guests who will always enjoy a warm, relaxed, yet refined ambience.”

Maserati- “Build ultra-luxury performance automobiles with timeless Italian style, accommodating bespoke interiors, and effortless, signature sounding power.”

Bobbi Brown makeup- “Empowering women to look like their best selves.”

Whole foods-“Whole foods, whole people, whole planet”

Google- “mission is to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.”

Pantagonia- “Build the best products, cause no unnecessary harm, use business to inspire and implement solutions to the environmental crisis.”

Honest Tea- “We embrace the simplicity of tea–water and leaves. for generations, cultures around the world have enjoyed tea grown without chemical pesticides and fertilizers and we don’t see any reason to include them in our recipes today.”

Ikea- “our vision is to create a better everyday life for the many people. Our business idea supports this vision by offering a wide range of well-designed, functional home furnishing products at prices so low that as many people as possible will be able to afford them.”

Do you have a mission statement? Please share.

Happy Tuesday.

Xoxo,

Gigi

My Bucket List…

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Gigi in Aging, Inspiration, Life Style 4 Comments

In my recent observations of life, in particular some that have ended way to soon unfortunately- I started thinking about my bucket list. At 55 I’m on the other side, I feel fine, not sure what “middle age” is supposed to feel like, but I’m embracing every day. I for the most part do the right “things”, but I am learning there is no rhyme or reason to these horrific diseases, there are no guarantees.

Here is what I came up with, in no particular order:

1. Travel to Brazil, Cuba, Bali, Turkey, Mauritius, New Zealand, Montreux jazz just to name a few destinations on my list.

Kauai

2. Become a really really good photographer.

Gigi

3. Write a book. (does not have to be a bestseller or anything)

4. Have a grandchild or two.

5. Get in incredible shape. (For me it is more difficult at this age-body parts want to relocate and shift…)

Gigi @ the beach

6. Start a non-profit. I want to make a difference, for women and/or animals- cats in particular.

What’s on your bucket list?

Happy Tuesday,

Xoxo,

Gigi

I need some tea and honey…

Posted on March 9, 2015 by Gigi in My Life Comments Off

First on foremost…I’ve missed coming here and sharing my thoughts and such. Life is zooming by and I have been caught up on a merry go round that won’t let me off. A little bit of what has been going on the past five weeks, 3 friends departed the planet, 3 friends who were in my age bracket. I know that one day we will all depart this earth, but are you ever ready death? BTW I hate F—ing Cancer.

A few weeks ago I met a new friend, her name is Hanifa. Back story I’m part of Face Forward, an organization that provides medical services for women who have been victims of domestic violence, we provide pro bono surgery to women and children who have been disfigured as a result of domestic violence. Our latest patient Hanifa is from Uganda she is an acid attack survivor. She has such a positive outlook and an incredible spirit considering the ordeal she has been thorough. Check out this video about her journey and mission.

I also went on my annual girls ski trip. We spent a week in Aspen and had a ball. I am finally a strong intermediate skier! We had a blast and I can’t wait until next year.

Aspen Trip 2015

My self portrait project is going really well, each week I take a picture of myself with my “real” camera, ie. staging the lighting, scene and mood. I am learning so much about myself doing this project, I am forced to really look at myself inside and outside.

self portrait #1

self portrait #2

self portrait #3

self portrait #4

self portrait #5

self portrait #6

Oh speaking of photography I attended a lighting seminar is Las Vegas. I am determined to learn my craft! There is so much I want to know, nonstop learning.

My son has been home for spring break so I have been doing my uber driving duties, he is planning on getting his license before he goes back to school, keeping my fingers crossed.

And lastly I did the swim leg in a relay triathlon. No, I have not been training per se, but it was short and sweet and I was happy to do an event, did not realize how much I missed doing them. So I am looking for another one to sign up for.

So now that you have the highlights of my last 5 weeks- How are you? Do you feel overwhelmed? How to you balance when your merry go round is spinning out of control? Please share…

I’m going to make my tea and honey…

Xoxo,

Gigi

Quote

Posted on January 28, 2015 by Gigi in Quotes Comments Off

quote

I connected with this quote. It is easy to focus on yesterday and the day before, especially if it is something negative, I have been guilty of this on many occasions. Does it really help? No. If anything those feelings come up to the surface again and put a damper on the current day. Each day is opportunity to embrace something new, go forward and keep it moving. Spending time on yesterday takes away from new experiences and memories you could be creating. Of course it is okay to share something the key is to know when to let it go. I’m still learning this…

On another note I read about something that uber is doing today in Los Angeles…puppy bowl. Sponsored by Animal Planet every year around the same time as the Super Bowl, Uber and Animal Planet coordinated to provide the puppies, most which are available for adoption from local animal shelters. Between the hours of 11 and 3 you can order a uber to come to your office and bring puppies for you and your staff to play with for 15 minutes. The cost is 30.00 which goes to the local animal shelters. If I had an office in LA I know what I would be doing this afternoon…

Happy Wednesday,

Xoxo,

Gigi