An Ordinary Day...

Wednesday, April 12th started off as an ordinary day. The alarm sounded off at 6:00 a.m. like it always did. Reggie did his work day morning ritual, showering, grooming, selecting a suit and accessorizing with the perfect accents for Read more

Why are some people mean?

Why are some people mean? I'm not talking about a little mean, but bazaar, go out of their way to be mean. Recently I've encountered a few mean people, I remind myself that these situations will make me a stronger Read more

Maldives

Our last trip of 2016 was to the Maldives. Last year was one full of excursions, We traveled to Cameroon, Paris, Bali, Hawaii, New Orleans, New York, Chicago, Lake Tahoe, Atlanta, Napa, San Francisco, Dubai, and I must say Read more

Quote

It's okay to venture out of your comfort zone... Lately I've been doing it quite often. This weekend is going to be one of renewal, my personal Super Bowl. What are your plans? I will be working today and tomorrow. Happy Read more

Do you enjoy yourself?

Both of my kids are in New York, my son is in school in the Hudson Valley and my daughter is living in Brooklyn and working. So we are officially empty nesters, and have been so for a while Read more

Facebook

Deletion

Posted on by Gigi in My Life, Uncategorized Comments Off on Deletion

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In our virtual world of facebook, instagram, twitter, snapchat etc. we have more “contact” with friends, family and our cyber peeps, many whom we have never met. Lots of time is spent being a voyeur into the lives of strangers, remote acquaintances and friensmies. We spend time peeking into secret worlds, wondering how our life compares, are we as happy as they are? Most of us present our best “self” on line, including moi…the bad hair days tend to not make it on my feed, nor the pics that we all have when caught in mid speech or chewing…not cute. It’s human nature to want to “see” what others are doing, to snoop on an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfirend’s page, check out their comings and goings.

Between my blog and my business my “friend” list has grown. I don’t know all the mechanics of facebook, for example how which friends show up on my newsfeed, or how I can google something, usually a shoe of some sort and the next thing I know that item shows up on my feed in a sponsored post. I accept most friend requests, especially if I have mutual friends in common. You meet people and quickly add them to your facebook tribe routinely. I have a few facebook friends that I have even met in person. One was a woman named “Gervel” who lives in Maryland, she saw my status update when I was in Maryland this particular day, “Gervel” messaged me and we met and had a lovely time exchanging stories about how we both ended up with the same odd name.

I’ve become close with a few of my facebook friends, sort of a connection like a “penpal” those of you that are old enough might remember those. In this world where we have so many “friends”, what happens when someone DELETES you?  How do you feel? Or does it matter, especially if it is someone you don’t know.  Or maybe the connection is so remote you may not even know your were deleted. But what if it is someone you know? You may feel hurt, especially if the person is someone in your social circles.

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It has happened to me on a few occasions, and I must admit it is an odd feeling, not hurt per se, because someone you really know would probably have a chat with you if there was some conflict. It’s one of those things, where you figure, that a person had an adverse feeling about you that moved them to press “DELETE”. Maybe it was a post, or perhaps you have a religious or political stance that rubbed them the wrong way. Or maybe they just decided “enough of you” delete! Whatever the reason for the omission, life keeps moving forward and it is a reminder to make time for real “face” time with friends and family, don’t let social media replace real visits, there something different about looking into someone eyes seeing their smile and having a conversation.

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Happy Monday,

Xoxo,

Gigi

self portrait #3

self portrait #3

 

 


Your Presence

Posted on by Gigi in American Life 1 Comment

Your presence is a gift. We live in a world where everything is fast, slow is sometimes considered old and boring. Everyone is walking around with earphones, ear pieces, and smart phones have become a new body part. I know because I am guilty of all the above. All these gadgets were supposed to make our lives easier, but instead it has interfered with our human interaction. With all the social media, that we can easily access on our phones and be entertained, who has time to interact with the person next to you? And oh let’s not forget we all have 1000’s of friends now, but we still yearn for someone to be present, in the moment with us. We want to hear a voice, not read a cryptic text, that many times is misunderstood and usually in a bad way.

I’m old enough to remember BC…before cell phones and PC’s for that matter. Those were the days when you had to meet in person and you were fully engaged, because you had no distractions. You had dinner with your family and you chatted, you didn’t have bells, songs, chimes going off non-stop, alerting you of something perhaps a little more interesting than the person in front of you.

While driving you talked with your kids not on your cellphone to your girlfriend about “nothing”. Meetings took place in person, not via skype or on conference calls, you actually met with a person and went over things together. I know technology is supposed to make our lives more efficient, but my question is why are we busier than ever? Never able to complete tasks, always behind…why is “busy” perceived as important?

With my business I spend a lot of time online, to much time, I get sidetracked on “facecrack”, instagram, checking in on twitter, spending time alone engaging as my online persona, time that could be spent gracing someone with my presence. I’ve decided I’m going to take “busy” down a bit, and focus on my presence, make time to engage, unplug…I want to see a face, hear a voice, observe a glance, I don’t want to guess what 5 or 6 words accented by a happy face really mean.

So today take a moment and give someone the gift of your presence.

Happy Tuesday.

Xoxo,

Gigi

Gigi

Gigi

 


I HAVE OVER 1,000 Friends…

Posted on by Gigi in friendship 2 Comments
GIGI FB

GIGI FB

I have over 1.000 friends…Really? Wow? No Shit?

On the eve of my 25th wedding anniversary, I thought about how fortunate I am to wake up with my best friend. We celebrated a 27 year friendship, we dated 2 years before getting married. 27 years is a true test of friendship, you know the good the bad and the UGLY…it has all come out at some point.

In this age of social media it is easy to confuse what real friendships are…we are able to connect with “friends” all over the world, People from grade school, college, old boyfriends, distant relatives etc.. We can peek into their lives, and start to feel as if we really know them.

I’m a people person, I love interacting with others, chatting and finding out commonalities. Bringing people together is something I love to do, whether it is for book club, a ski trip, spa weekend  hike, or just because, I enjoy connecting people. At the end of the day though, you have to ask yourself the question if you were in a bind who could you really call on? Since I’ve hit my 50’s I feel as though I am going through an enlightenment period, I crave relationships that are not “work”, that flow and uplift- it is difficult to be a mindreader, I need transparent relationships. In my 30’s and 40’s I was tolerant and a really good chameleon, I thought I had a lot of friends, but in actuality I did not, I was just good at being whatever I thought a particular “friend” wanted me to be…

So I came up with this list of questions to determine some of the basic criteria of a friendship.

1. Do you know where your friend lives? Sounds crazy but, I once had a “friend” and to this day I don’t know where they live.

2. Have you been to their house? Inside?

3. Could you tell your friend “anything” or do you have to sensor?

4. Can you make a mistake and be forgiven?

5, Can you be yourself without judgement? Or do you have to “fake the funk”?

6. Can you share you deepest darkest secrets?

7. Can you call this friend anytime?

8. Do they have your “back”?

9. Are they “loyal”?

10. Will they tell you the truth?

If you answered “No” to most of these questions these peeps more than likely are not friends. If you were having your last meal on the planet and you could have a dinner party with 4 guests, who would your select? And why? Something to think about…oh and none of the 4 can be family members…

Most of us have loads of acquaintances, workout buds, club members, co-workers, church members, neighbors etc. that we interact with on a regular basis, and then there are our social media friends…which I love btw, my social media friends are a virtual village, a status update about anything will get a response or some information or a referral or perhaps a simple prayer for whatever your current situation.

As I get older (I’m about to break the speed limit) I realize the importance of genuine friendships. You are fortunate if you have a couple of “real” friends, and just because you have know someone 20 plus years, it does not necessarily mean that person is a close friend. As I break the speed limit “55” I will continue work on self, being who I am, addressing my flaws and being the best friend I can be…

Happy Thursday

XOXO,

Gigi

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Friends How Many of us Have them?

Posted on by Gigi in Well-Being 15 Comments

Friends how many of us have them

Friends

Ones we can depend on

Friends

How many of us have them

Friends

Before we go any futher, lets be

Friends

                                                                                                                                                                                Whodini

Friends

I read an article in the Sunday New York Times, a few weeks ago about how difficult it is to make friends as we get older. I reflected on my own friend journey as an adult, and thought about when did I meet most of them. When you really think about how many “new” friends do you have and how many friends do you have from childhood? Is this friend thing different for guys? Reggie has a few acquaintances, his reluctancy to come on board with technology has made communicating a bit of a challenge, he is starting to text a bit, rarely checks email, and goes on facebook occasionally. His friend circle consists of guys he sees on the basketball court, one running partner and one brother that he talks to on the phone quite often.

I on the other hand am very social and enjoy interacting with with my girlfriends. My friendships have shaped me into the person I am, helped me to grow and at times really tested my limits and patience. I met my friend that I have know the longest when I was 10 and we have remained in contact for more years than I care to remember. High school (see my post below) was a difficult period in my life, but thanks to facebook I have reconnected with many of them. During college a few of my long term friendships blossomed, women I am still close with today, one of which I met my husband through. Friends that I have 20 plus years of history with are like mini marriages, you have gone through so much together, the good and bad and the ugly. They know things about you that you don’t even want to remember, they met the “jacked” boyfriend that you were crazy about that newer friends just heard about.

Friends

Moving on to adulthood, living in LA, working various jobs, living in roommate situations, I picked up a couple of  more lifers, some of which currently live in different parts of the country, but friends non the less.

Once I got married and my daughter was born my circle was filled with other stroller pushers. Between mommy and me groups, spouses of Reggie’s colleagues, social clubs, Jack and Jill, mothers from school, friends from interior design school, sister-n-laws, and neighbors, there was a friend explosion. I made the most friends during this period. Soon my children were developing their own friends and sometimes mothers that I bonded with, my children now were not as close with those kids, causing for some awkward times. And kids can be so honest with “I don’t like her, mommy!”.

Young Friends

Currently I am fortunate to have a sisterhood of women in my life who I admire, who inspire me to be my best, women who it is okay to agree to disagree. Like all relationships sometimes friendships are challenged, or interests change and the relationship slowly fades away. You may have to reflect when a friendship ends, and say that friend was in my life for this reason and I am grateful for the moments we shared. The glue that holds my friendships together vary like night and day, some love shopping, some never shop, some live each day to workout, others are weekend warriors, some are active in their churches, and others can’t recall the last time they have been, some are married, some are not, some have children, some eat ribs and some eat carrots, some ski, and some do ballroom dancing, some do yoga, we are all different, but we enjoy each others company just the same. I love my friends, I would be lost without each and everyone of you.

Cartoon

 

Do you find it difficult to make friends as an adult? I would love to hear your friend stories.

Xoxo,

Gigi

 

 

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