Friends how many of us have them
Ones we can depend on
How many of us have them
Before we go any futher, lets be
I read an article in the Sunday New York Times, a few weeks ago about how difficult it is to make friends as we get older. I reflected on my own friend journey as an adult, and thought about when did I meet most of them. When you really think about how many “new” friends do you have and how many friends do you have from childhood? Is this friend thing different for guys? Reggie has a few acquaintances, his reluctancy to come on board with technology has made communicating a bit of a challenge, he is starting to text a bit, rarely checks email, and goes on facebook occasionally. His friend circle consists of guys he sees on the basketball court, one running partner and one brother that he talks to on the phone quite often.
I on the other hand am very social and enjoy interacting with with my girlfriends. My friendships have shaped me into the person I am, helped me to grow and at times really tested my limits and patience. I met my friend that I have know the longest when I was 10 and we have remained in contact for more years than I care to remember. High school (see my post below) was a difficult period in my life, but thanks to facebook I have reconnected with many of them. During college a few of my long term friendships blossomed, women I am still close with today, one of which I met my husband through. Friends that I have 20 plus years of history with are like mini marriages, you have gone through so much together, the good and bad and the ugly. They know things about you that you don’t even want to remember, they met the “jacked” boyfriend that you were crazy about that newer friends just heard about.
Moving on to adulthood, living in LA, working various jobs, living in roommate situations, I picked up a couple of more lifers, some of which currently live in different parts of the country, but friends non the less.
Once I got married and my daughter was born my circle was filled with other stroller pushers. Between mommy and me groups, spouses of Reggie’s colleagues, social clubs, Jack and Jill, mothers from school, friends from interior design school, sister-n-laws, and neighbors, there was a friend explosion. I made the most friends during this period. Soon my children were developing their own friends and sometimes mothers that I bonded with, my children now were not as close with those kids, causing for some awkward times. And kids can be so honest with “I don’t like her, mommy!”.
Currently I am fortunate to have a sisterhood of women in my life who I admire, who inspire me to be my best, women who it is okay to agree to disagree. Like all relationships sometimes friendships are challenged, or interests change and the relationship slowly fades away. You may have to reflect when a friendship ends, and say that friend was in my life for this reason and I am grateful for the moments we shared. The glue that holds my friendships together vary like night and day, some love shopping, some never shop, some live each day to workout, others are weekend warriors, some are active in their churches, and others can’t recall the last time they have been, some are married, some are not, some have children, some eat ribs and some eat carrots, some ski, and some do ballroom dancing, some do yoga, we are all different, but we enjoy each others company just the same. I love my friends, I would be lost without each and everyone of you.
Do you find it difficult to make friends as an adult? I would love to hear your friend stories.