I have over 1.000 friends…Really? Wow? No Shit?
On the eve of my 25th wedding anniversary, I thought about how fortunate I am to wake up with my best friend. We celebrated a 27 year friendship, we dated 2 years before getting married. 27 years is a true test of friendship, you know the good the bad and the UGLY…it has all come out at some point.
In this age of social media it is easy to confuse what real friendships are…we are able to connect with “friends” all over the world, People from grade school, college, old boyfriends, distant relatives etc.. We can peek into their lives, and start to feel as if we really know them.
I’m a people person, I love interacting with others, chatting and finding out commonalities. Bringing people together is something I love to do, whether it is for book club, a ski trip, spa weekend hike, or just because, I enjoy connecting people. At the end of the day though, you have to ask yourself the question if you were in a bind who could you really call on? Since I’ve hit my 50’s I feel as though I am going through an enlightenment period, I crave relationships that are not “work”, that flow and uplift- it is difficult to be a mindreader, I need transparent relationships. In my 30’s and 40’s I was tolerant and a really good chameleon, I thought I had a lot of friends, but in actuality I did not, I was just good at being whatever I thought a particular “friend” wanted me to be…
So I came up with this list of questions to determine some of the basic criteria of a friendship.
1. Do you know where your friend lives? Sounds crazy but, I once had a “friend” and to this day I don’t know where they live.
2. Have you been to their house? Inside?
3. Could you tell your friend “anything” or do you have to sensor?
4. Can you make a mistake and be forgiven?
5, Can you be yourself without judgement? Or do you have to “fake the funk”?
6. Can you share you deepest darkest secrets?
7. Can you call this friend anytime?
8. Do they have your “back”?
9. Are they “loyal”?
10. Will they tell you the truth?
If you answered “No” to most of these questions these peeps more than likely are not friends. If you were having your last meal on the planet and you could have a dinner party with 4 guests, who would your select? And why? Something to think about…oh and none of the 4 can be family members…
Most of us have loads of acquaintances, workout buds, club members, co-workers, church members, neighbors etc. that we interact with on a regular basis, and then there are our social media friends…which I love btw, my social media friends are a virtual village, a status update about anything will get a response or some information or a referral or perhaps a simple prayer for whatever your current situation.
As I get older (I’m about to break the speed limit) I realize the importance of genuine friendships. You are fortunate if you have a couple of “real” friends, and just because you have know someone 20 plus years, it does not necessarily mean that person is a close friend. As I break the speed limit “55” I will continue work on self, being who I am, addressing my flaws and being the best friend I can be…
- Friends How Many of us Have them?
- Rejection is the New Acceptance…
- NOTES on FRIENDSHIPS and OTHER SITUATIONS
- I Love You- Friends…