I have this journal that contains a year’s worth of “fear” prompts. One of the prompts “list things that scare you” …I had to think about this since there is a part of me that thinks I am fearless. So after digging deep inside, this is my “scared to death – bone chilling” list.
1. Fear of heights. This one is twofold, there is something about looking over the edge that really frightens me, but I can ski and I’m not afraid of those edges. I’m afraid of flying in small planes, and the one time I did I was in Costa Rica and I had a panic attack and had to use the bathroom, of course this plane was so small there was no bathroom so the pilot just landed in a field so I could go…talk about SCARED…
2. All things medical. Yes. I know I am married to a doctor, but I am scared of needles, blood tests, hospitals, exams etc. and my worst medical fear is the big “C”. Almost all of my family has been attacked by cancer, so I can’t help but to think about being diagnosed myself.
3. I’m scared of losing my teeth…so regardless of number 2, I am at the dentist twice a year, never ever missing an appointment. I think this fear came from seeing older relatives removing their teeth and putting them in a glass of water, and I remember being really afraid, wondering what happened to their teeth, but knowing I could not ask.
4. Scorpions- a few years ago one was in my bed! I almost had a heart attack. Yes. Creepy crawlers freak me out. I remember when we traveled to Costa Rica I thought it would be nice to stay at a Eco resort- WRONG it was full of all kinds of exotic insects…all over the place.
5. Snakes, no explanation needed. I have had run ins in my neighborhood with snakes on a few occasions.
6. Not “aging” per se, but looking really old- and not in a graceful way. So I’m trying to balance what works and hopefully recognizing what does not. And unless I get over fear number 2, I may not be able to take advantage of the modern anti-aging treatments.
7. Losing my husband and /or my children. Recently I have witnessed close friends and family experiencing this loss and I don’t know how you ever work through the grief.
What scares you? I’m curious.