Relationship Goals

Posted on June 24, 2016 by Gigi in My Life Comments Off

Mr. & Mrs.

I will be celebrating 27 years of marriage in a few weeks, add in the 2 years we dated that brings us to 29 years- a long time! More than half of my life. While no relationship is perfect- and if it were I think that would be quite boring. I was thinking about what makes my relationship rock? Here are a few things I came up with.

1. I know this seems like a no brainer, but we still sleep together in the same bed, same room. Not always the case. The other day a guy was sharing with me some doggie drama that now because of it his wife sleeps in another room with one of the puppies.

2. Don’t hold grudges. Speak your mind, have disagreements and move on. Oh and COMMUNICATE! The quiet BS does not work if anything it just builds resentment.

3. Your spouse should be your best friend- the one you want to share stuff with- the good the bad and the ugly. The person you can share your fears with, the one that will not judge you- the one that understands you-

4. Treat your spouse with respect. Adore him. Adore her. Continue to give compliments to one another.

5. Do and try new things together. Travel. Bottom line continue to date, don’t let your kids, work etc. stop you from having private time together.

6. Always have some interests of your own- Continue to grow as an individual.

7. Remember why you fell in LOVE…

Happy Friday- What are your plans for the weekend? I will be working, but my Sunday will end at the Hollywood Bowl one of my favorite summer venues.

Happy Friday!

Xoxo,

Gigi

Our villa in Ubud

Is Marriage Forever?

Posted on August 29, 2014 by Gigi in Weddings 2 Comments

A month ago we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, definitely a milestone for us. This past weekend my in-laws celebrated their 90th birthdays and 71 years of marriage.

Mom & Dad Sampson
90 years young…

When my mother-n-law was my age they had already be married 36 years! We’re at an age where we are now going to weddings of our friends children, while at the same time many long term marriages are dissolving.

Kyndall & James

lovely couple (our friend’s daughter)

My in-laws got married when they were 19, when I think about my early relationships I know I would have had a least 1 maybe 2 divorces under my belt by now. Being a late bloomer, I had no clue what I even wanted in a relationship or partner, but somehow I knew that some of the choices I had made were wrong on so many different levels. At 30 I was certainly not the 20 something year old going in a million different directions, being the “pleaser” in one sided relationships. I had gained the confidence to know I was a “prize” and did not have to settle, just because…

Doing the math I don’t think we will be around to celebrate 70 years, but I will embrace each day like it is our last.

Gigi & Reggie 25 years anniversary

I was in awe of my in-laws and their lasting love–something that is becoming so rare. Check out this short clip of my father-n-law’s tribute to his wife.

Marriage like any other relationships take work, you have to be an active participant and make things happen. You and your partner have to be willing to change and grow and continue to accept one another, be honest, and most of all be willing to forgive. Any one who has been married a long time has experienced “rough patches”, but the key is being able smooth them out. You have to understand who this person is you married…and not try and transform them to who you didn’t marry. You have to know what is worth fighting about and when to just “shut up”.

For example I LOVE to TRAVEL, if I were to wait on my husband to plan a trip we would not go anywhere, but since I know that I make sure I am proactive and plan things. I did not marry the person who is going to surprise me and whisk me away to an exotic location, and that is okay.

Patera Elephant Farm

I also know that some marriages end. Some are impossible, just BIG mistakes. I came from a broken family and now that I am an adult, I see clearly why my parents could have never stayed married–sad but true. I am grateful that my mom was able to relocate with 4 kids to California and start a new life.

My mother and father early 1960’s

Every marriage is different and each one has a different formula to keep it going. My humble advice is to always work on “self” being the best “you”, stay “market” ready, be interesting and continue to grow, be in tune with your partner, keep it “sexy”, know that it is okay if you give more sometimes and lastly always make time for each other.

Have a wonderful weekend, we will be heading to Temecula for a wedding (daughter of one of our dear friends).

XOXO,

Gigi

25 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Posted on July 22, 2014 by Gigi in My Life 6 Comments

Wedding Day july 23, 1989 1 week before 30

Wedding Day july 23, 1989 Kauai

25 years ago I said “I Do” to my soulmate for life. We have been through a lot together, I have experienced the happiest moments in my life with this man, and some of the saddest, birthed 2 children, traveled around the world, ran 4 marathons, 1 triathlon, biked around the big island of Hawaii, baked more brownies than I care to remember, raised a few furry children, got involved in a pyramid scheme, made money , lost money, turned vegan and shared lots of laughs together.

25 years later July 23, 2014

As I reflect on the past 25 years, I thought about why am I still crazy about this man? I came up with my list of 25 tips for a happy marriage. I’m not an expert, but these are things that have worked for us.

Not in any particular order:

#1. FORGIVE and FORGET.

# 2. Live YOUR version of a “Love Story”.

# 3. Love yourself, but don’t be Selfish.

Hubby Reggie

# 4. Make your OWN family traditions…Love your extended families, but establish a few rituals of your own.

# 5. Evolve and “be a creature like no other” embrace your own changes as well as your partner’s- being stagnant is not interesting or attractive.

# 6. Prepare “real” food with all your heart and soul. There is something sensuous about preparing food for your lover.

Reggie & Gigi

# 7. Always DATE- It is easy to get into a rut, but make it happen, get a sitter, do whatever you have to do in order to spend time as a couple.

# 8. Commit to the journey, the ride ~~may~~ will get rocky, but HOLD ON!!!

Gigi & Reggie

# 9. Have FAITH and BELIEVE in something.

# 10. Nurture your family ie. your children, but don’t forget each other.

# 11. Work at your marriage and the magic will happen- No Work No Magic.

I would say yes again…

# 12. Prioritize – What is really important? Don’t get it twisted…

# 13. Remember ROMANCE CAN LAST…don’t pay attention to the cynics, non-believers and those that are bitter.

# 14. Indulge each other in WHATEVER -at least sometimes.

Have Fun pretend to get married again …

# 15. Celebrate each other…birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s or just because.

#16. Be in “touch” and communicate-be available for one another-don’t be elusive- and TOUCH each other…

#17. LISTEN, LISTEN & LISTEN and THINK, THINK & THINK and then SPEAK SPEAK & SPEAK…

love this one

# 18. Travel near and far, especially places where you don’t speak the language, get out and explore this world we live in.

#19. Make your house a home- create a comforting space that you both look forward to.

# 20. Be desirable for each other- be the best version of “you”, look pretty, smell fresh, take care of your body, groom yourself, wear pretty lingerie or not…

Love this man

# 21. CARE for each other…Be there when your mate is down, physically, mentally, financially…just be there.

# 22. Learn to savor moments–the older I get, the more I know that tomorrow is not promised.

# 23. Don’t let things get old and tired–literally and figuratively — you are in control.

Laugh

# 24. Laugh, Laugh and LAUGH–Don’t be so serious.

# 25. Eat Love, Drink Love, Live Love, and most of all MAKE LOVE!

Here is a behind the scene video of my anniversary photo shoot that my talented son surprised me with…

As I celebrate my Silver Anniversary–I wish all you much love…

XOXO.

Gigi

24th Wedding Anniversary

24TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Posted on July 31, 2013 by Gigi in My Life, Thoughts 10 Comments

Last week I celebrated my 24th wedding anniversary, unfortunately it was the same day of my brother-n-law Jimmy’s untimely passing. We flew up to Stanford Medical Center to join family in spending our last moments together, showering Jimmy with prayers and song. It was a sad day, one I will never forget, and I pray I never have to experience my own child dying before my eyes.

Wedding Day july 23, 1989

We eloped to the island of Kauai and had a simple ceremony witnessed by my dear friend Blaine and her then husband Bob. The small chapel was filled with strangers that Reggie recruited from the hotel. I was worried that no one was going to be there, so this was his solution, run around the hotel inviting everyone to come to our wedding unbeknown to me of course. This was Reggie’s second marriage and at the time we felt it was best to have a low key ceremony, of course the inner bride is alive and well inside of me and is jones-ing for a 25th wedding vow renewal next year with all the trimmings.

Reggie & Gigi

Fast forward 24 years; we have been blessed with a daughter and a son, we have both lost siblings, survived bankruptcy, abuse from the IRS, stroke, acquired a new office 100 miles away, fishetarian, vegetarian, vegan, raw vegan, a kitchen remodel, plus or minus 15 pounds, reading glasses, interesting family dynamics, marathons, triathlons, the end of the long silky perm era, and oh I can’t forget menopause and we are STILL TOGETHER!

Reggie & Gigi

Our marriage is very similar to training for a triathlon. Swimming, biking, and running are the events you have to somewhat master in order to complete the triathlon, in marriage you also have to participate in all the parts, you can’t pick and choose , and expect to finish the race. There will be some parts you like and some you will loathe. You may at times get discouraged and want to quit, but you know just like that early morning ocean swim, once you get wet you are fine. When your training is consistent, you become stronger, just like in marriage when you are slacking in a few areas you have to work harder or else before you know it you will just settle for mediocracy accepting “whatever” as your norm.

Malibu Tri 2011

Crossing the triathlon finish line, you are overwhelmed with a sense of accomplishment, the excitement trickles through your entire body, you quickly forget about the hours you put in, the setbacks and injuries. In marriage you have to keep “training” for those peaks, and remember the “dating” phase and DO what you DID then, that made you want to close the deal. The “training” is a lifelong commitment that can be truly rewarding, so if you have been a little lack, dust off those running shoes and go for a spin around the track.

Reggie & Gigi

XOXO,

GIGI

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