This is true is so many ways…it can be applied to everything from physical possessions, to relationships, to habits, the list goes on and on. At my age I finally get this, you can try and change some things, and may even have some success, but ultimately you have to be willing to edit with vengeance. You have to be able to look at your goals and question what is blocking you from obtaining them…usually it is something obvious or something we fear.
I remember when I decided to go back to school and finish my degree I had major blocks. I knew I had to complete my degree, the thought of my children asking me one day “why do I have to go to school–you didn’t finish” was daunting. Reggie was in grade school and Amani was is middle school when I decided to return. I had to “subtract” the crazy blocks I had in order to “add” this educational piece to my life, and trust me it was not easy to humble myself and go back to the same school I started at 25 years ago in my 40’s. It was even more interesting because some of the administrators at the university were students I started with the first time I went there. Some of our friends had children that were attending my school.
The other big block was that when I was there the first time, I did not do well academically, lets just say I was asked to leave. So one random day I threw my pride out the window, and drove out to U.C. Riverside, and walked into the dean’s office and said, “I went here a long time ago and I want to come back and finish my degree.” of course the dean said that was great, that was before she pulled the “microfiche” yes I went there before computers…heheheh She looked at my grades and said “hmmmmm It is going to be difficult for you, because you are going to have to make up a lot of work, but I am going to sign off and give you a special admit”. So here I was starting my school 25 years later on “academic probation”.
I had to juggle my kids, their activities, my home, and doing my school work, because I had it in my head that I had to finish before Amani finished high school, so I had to go full time, oh and the school was an hour away. The quarters zoomed by, soon I was not on probation, I made friends with some of the young students, became a confidante of some of my professors, most were my age, and renewed friendships with staff who I attended school with the first time.
Looking back, I graduated in 2006, I was glad I was able to return, glad my children could learn by seeing me pull all nighters, not let my school work interfere with their life or our family dynamics and keep it moving. So friends, look inside and figure out what is blocking your success–and subtract. I’m always working on something, adding subtracting at any given moment, right now it is balancing my photography business and finding my rhythm of shooting, processing my work and still having my weekends to do “me” – I had to quickly subtract the thought of doing weddings, cause I know it is important for me and my life style to have my weekends for my family.