Came across this quote today and it really resonated inside of me, I read it a few times and thought about what these words meant to me…
We spend so much time trying to be what we think we need to be for others. At 54 years young I am finally living each day as the woman I am meant to be…This did not happen overnight, it was a long journey and the most difficult part was learning to say “NO” and accepting that everybody was not going to like me all the time. Many times being who you are meant to be sometimes means not following the group, being an independent thinker. It can be unsettling, especially if you have spent a lot of time “creating a facade” of yourself.
Sometimes it can be something simple like changing a hairstyle, I remember when I started wearing my hair natural many years ago, many well meaning friends and family had reactions, it was if I somehow let them down by changing my long relaxed tresses. I even had one person say to me “what about your husband?, is he OK with your hair like that?”. Now 10 years later the natural hair movement is booming.
I remember when I started dating my husband, after a few months he wanted to take me to his church, which unbeknownst to me was pretty uptight. On this particular morning he picked me up and I was dressed, but I had on no stockings and a pair of hoop earrings, so on the way to the church he stopped at the mall and told me he had to get something. So we go in the store and he finds stockings, a “little house on the prairie” dress and some little flat shoes and he asked me to put the outfit on, and take off the earrings. He explained that his church was really conservative and I would be more comfortable in that outfit, so I reluctantly changed into my costume and we went to church. I remember feeling really uncomfortable in my “new” outfit, and thinking this is not me, and I cannot transform into this person for him or anybody else, there had to be a happy medium. So of course we talked about it later and I told him that he was attracted to me the way I was and I can’t change into someone else and perhaps he could meet one of the ladies that already have the image he was trying to create. So my friends you know the rest of the story almost 25 years later …
So everyday I strive to be my true self, most days it is effortless and some days not so easy. I find that having transparency frees my mind to be creative, because I’m not fixated on keeping up an illusion, I’m just being me…plenty of flaws included.