It has taken me a long time to learn this. If you don’t expect much you can’t be disappointed…I however always want the most from everyone, it’s my nature, but I am realizing everyone is not wired like that. One of my flaws is always wanting success for everyone, I will navigate the path and want others to follow, and when they get sidetracked or go backwards I’m disappointed instead of accepting maybe it is something they are not really interested in doing.
We are all so different in so many ways, I don’t know if it is an age thing or what, but I am not as accommodating as I used to be. I’m more of an observer, taking little mental notes, but always figuring out a plan and knowing what I can do to make it happen. I never give up on anyone, but I’ve learned that it is difficult to instill desire in another person if they don’t feel it or crave it from within. Everyone has their priorities and once you realize and accept that their priorities are not necessarily yours you can keep it moving and continue to work on your plan or align yourself with someone who is on the same path. This new awareness comes from a place of acceptance, not anger at all, basically accepting others from the level they are operating from and not expecting more than they are capable of giving.
I often tell my kids, “I can’t want this more than you do…” and I really mean it. We as parents sometimes can create what is perceived as a heartbreak from our children, when in reality it is simply our children wanting something different than what we want for them. My son wants to study art, and I have had some well meaning people ask me “what is he going to do with that?” and my answer is “be happy”… Growing up my well meaning family expected me to embark on a traditional career, I wanted to do something in fashion or art, but that dream was squashed and hence for a long time I was a “disappointment”.
I’m fortunate that my husband is the same way, no matter what obstacles are presented, no matter how difficult, he will always work on finding a solution. In the 27 years we have been together we have had some real challenges along the way, and have overcome the impossible at times ie. IRS, bankruptcy, lawsuits, just to name a few, but you get it…
I’m at a place in life where lots are changes are taking place, my son will be going away to college, my husband’s business is changing rapidly, and I am figuring out who I am as an artist and what my business model is going to look like in the next 6 months, year, 5 years. The one thing I know for sure though, is that if something starts to feel uncomfortable, I will figure it out before it gets to disaster mode.
Happy Tuesday XOXO,