24 years ago today my daughter entered the world and my life has not been the same. I got married at 30 and Amani was born a year later, so my life as a couple was short lived.
She went every where with us, which I know contributed to her independent spirit and the need to constantly explore. At the age of 6 weeks we took her to Hong Kong, against the advice of our pediatrician, when I think back on that time I don’t know what we were thinking.
I made sure Amani did all the things that I could only dream about – dance classes, acting, boarding school, traveling to Australia by herself at the age of 12, exposure to all the things that I thought would enrich her life. I wanted her to be this young woman who would be fearless and willing to conquer the world.
Currently living in Brooklyn, working and taking care of herself for the most part, it is nice to sit back and watch the process, to see her and observe subtle similarities of myself – like the way she tilts her head when looking in the mirror.
As time goes by I can’t help but to think about the next phase of parenting, will she marry, have children, where will she settle down, and although I pushed for this independence will it back fire in the future when perhaps I would want to live close to my children.
For now I will be happy that both my kids still want to go on “family” vacations and as of this date, Amani has not missed one, we are connected. I will appreciate the “texts” that I get just because, and the occasional tag on instagram, and of course the rare phone call.
It is scary and exciting to see our family dynamic shift, especially with my son looking at colleges in the northeast, and Amani applying to med schools all over and Reggie and I starting the discussion of what retirement looks like for us…as I have said before I will embrace each day and savor it…