So I’m minding my own business and doing my routine maintenance – mani, pedi etc., when I finally arrived at my last stop on this particular day, the wax salon. While not the most pleasant experience it is one of those little necessities, at least for me that make my life a little smoother. I missed the laser option a while ago (that’s another post that I will have to share) so hence I am vested in this little wax salon.
I’ve been going to the same waxer, “A” for over 10 years, it’s sort of like your ob/gyn, once you find one you are comfortable with you stay. You develop a unique relationship with a person that does such a specialized service, needless to say we have gotten really close. In our 15 minutes together we talk about everything, from what the kids are doing, photography, my kitties, yoga, etc., so on this particular visit the conversation goes something like this:
A: “Do you and Reggie still “do it”?
Moi: “Yes…we do” not as often as we used to-not like, before marriage or before kids, but yes we do…
A: “You know a lot of my clients don’t have sex, I hear it all the time.”
Moi: “hmmmmm I know some couples that are in roommate situations for various reasons, you are right there are a lot of sexless marriages.”
A: ” Now you have been married a long time. How long?”
Moi: “26 years plus the 2 years we dated so 28 years.”
A: “So do you guys still want to have sex?…I see you on FB and you 2 look so cute and I wonder…”
Moi: “Well, yes we do- trust me I would not be here letting you do “this” just because-
Riiiiiiiiiiip Riiiiiiiiiiiiiip Riiiiiiiiiiiiip
So after my appointment, I thought about intimacy in marriage and what happens to some couples that one day or night becomes the “last time” and then they never “do it ” again? I get it if there is a health issue, but what really happens? It is one of those subjects that you don’t really chat about.
I recall my mother-n-law who is in her early 90’s telling me and my sister-n-law that if you are not having sex with your husband he is having sex with someone else…Relationships are complicated and they are always changing, you have to be adaptable and accepting of your partner as these changes are taking place. Intimacy is a part of marriage and like anything else you have to work at the connection and keeping things interesting.
Based on my 28 years, not that I’m an expert, but from my experience you have to be open and honest with your partner. Of course as the years go by we change physically and emotionally, the stress of life can sometimes get the best of you, but it is important to carve out time for relationship and make it a priority. It is IMPORTANT to make time for special moments. Never stop dating and doing the things that attracted you in the first place.
BTW speaking of time, I’m happy to be baaaaaack! It has been to long, summer has zoomed by, my son is settling into his first year of college at Bard in upstate New York, my photography is going quite well, I am learning how to do underwater portraits and just having a blast and embracing each day to the fullest. I have a lot of fun things planned so stay tuned.
I know I have been on a hiatus but I’d love to hear from you…