Another birthday – I am 55 years-old today…it feels weird saying that, and I know some ladies still like to treat age like a mystery, but my thought is aging is a part of living and should be celebrated instead of hidden. I feel good and I’m at peace with self. I look in the mirror and I see a woman, wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, and a friend to many. I see a woman who has lived, taken risks, did a few things that I’m not proud of, a woman who has laughed and smiled a lot and has the lines to prove it.
I look back over my life and I have few regrets. Of course hindsight is always clearer and it is easy to think about what you could have done differently. I have grown in so many ways, no longer struggling with self doubt, no more worrying about what others think.
There is something about these “golden” years that are empowering. Perhaps it is the acceptance of my physical self, all 130 plus pounds of me, my kinky curly hair, no longer regulated to the beach, but red carpet events as well, embracing all the changes in my body and focusing on the good parts. After 50 plus years, finally learning what works for my body (stretch is always good), and certainly what doesn’t, even if it is the latest trend. Wearing my high heels, probably more often than I should, getting more of a thrill buying workout wear than regular clothes, and generally just abiding by my own rules and what makes me happy.
Accepting that no matter how many hours I spend in the gym, how “clean” I eat, if I should chose to tweak my face or some body parts, at the end of the day I’m still a middle-aged woman, and if I’m confused at any point, all I have to do is just stand next to a 25 year-old preferably in a bikini. I will continue to work on being the best version of me that I can be, taking care of my mental well being, along with my physical and spiritual self. I will go into this next “birth year” with conviction, bumping the workouts up a notch or 2, really paying attention to what I put into my body, and making sure I take time for me. I will continue to work on giving my children the skills they need so they can thrive in this crazy world we live in, long after I am gone, and being a wife and partner to my husband and the rock he can lean on.
Another thing about breaking the “speed limit” my “to do” list and “to go” list seem more urgent. I want to go to Brazil, Bali and the Montreux Jazz festival, I want to learn another language, work on my photography, host more intimate dinner parties, and of course keep editing what is no longer needed.
I will be departing this evening to the Jack & Jill National Conference in Charlotte, North Carolina. I will be in touch…